Why does feeling good feel strange?

I’ve had the strangest experience last month and I can only liken it to when I had really bad anxiety. A little back story. For over two years I have been in some form of ill health, not feeling like me, lacking vitality, anxiety, balance issues, hormonal stuff etc etc. 

To be honest I had moved into a space of acceptance that this was how it was going to be. Not in a defeatist way, just accepting and loving that this may be my new normal and that I could still live an incredible life despite the challenges. 

I would still do things to help myself and continue to research, learn and discover things that may help. I would wake each morning and say every day my body is healing, my health just gets better and better. 

And guess what it did! I was feeling the best I have felt in years. I was doing things I hadn’t done in ages, shopping in busy places, having longer days out, horse riding, weight training, driving further anxiety free. 

So it came as a huge shock when the doctor was concerned for my health. In my head, heart and soul I felt like I was beginning to thrive again. When the doctor stopped my HRT immediately I felt in complete shock. However instead of falling back to where I was I still felt great. 

I would wake in the morning symptom free. 

The weirdest thing was that it felt strange to feel healthy. And I fully know why. Feeling unwell had become my comfort zone, over time this had become my new normal and I hadn't even realised until I noticed more and more days I felt great! 

The reason I say I can liken it to when I had bad anxiety is because it wasn't until I stopped waking each day with my chest tight all those years ago that I realised I was waking like this everyday. I remember back then being in disbelief and shock and searching for that chest tightness and pain but it had gone. 

I felt like this last month too, things that would normally trigger symptoms weren’t, I had energy, positivity and I felt like me. 

So many think stepping out of their comfort zone requires you to face your fears, overcome big challenges, feel the fear and do it anyway. But there is another side to the comfort zone that many don’t mention. 

For many the comfort zone is simply what you are used to. That could be poor choices in relationships, over eating, ill health, being bullied, depression, anxiety and more. The comfort zone isn’t always comfortable. It is simply what you know, what your body and mind know. 

Your brain is always making assumptions. The comfort zone is a psychological state where your brain and body are getting consistent messages. Certainty is one of our core human needs. It builds safety. So bizarrely if you grew up in a chaotic home, you may seek this as it is consistent and what you know. Your brain knows how to respond in these situations. 

Let's think about an example. In my younger life I dated some guys that were, well, hard work. When I met my husband, he was kind, loving and it was easy. It made me question things. This will never last, sometings not right, it's all too easy. My comfort zone was drama, not ease, love and kindness. 

Moving out of our comfort zone into something like this is so different from facing a  huge challenge. When working with clients with anxiety for example I would advise to build up the window of tolerance back and forth between the fear zone and move into the growth zone/learning zone not just jump right in. This way you can build confidence, trust and self esteem without setting yourself back. The same if you are tackling a new skill or goal.

However moving from your uncomfortable comfort zone, into the new normal requires patience, love, and time. Time to build that trust. Lots and lots of affirming you are worthy of this new experience. That this new experience is normal. 

Rewiring your brain for this new normal takes exposure and reflection and consistent awareness. Writing down and acknowledging that things are good. Bringing your focus and awareness to all that is great in your life. You need to challenge the anxiety or thoughts that something isn't right and tell your brain that it is. Use affirmations, meditations, journaling, gratitude and be vocal. Tell your friends and family that life is good. Find people that will celebrate your success with you. 

Tell your body you are safe, practise nervous system regulation so your body feels in its new existence. 

You may experience blips, setbacks or failures but with each of these you can bounce back more resilient, more aware and ready to embrace a new way of being. 

You got this love Susi xx