Processing Grief: Healing Mantra Deck

I draw my card and it comes up again. “Processing grief: My losses Prove How Deeply I loved”

As I celebrated mothers day and my 42 birthday last week I did feel grief, but not that crippling, all consuming dark cloud of grief. More a pang, and gentle sadness wash over me. I haven’t written like this for a while and as I do tears begin to stream.

As I draw this card again for the umpteenth time. I am urged to reflect and what’s left unprocessed. Yesterday I came to the realisation that my body was probably never likely to conceive naturally, and the odds were against me. To be fair, the odds were always against me, not due to age, but haven been told numerous times that we couldn’t conceive naturally. Then with current pelvic issues it’s really a big lofty miracle and dream to keep carrying.

I guess I hung on to that hope that another miracle would occur. This week I relented and called the doctor after a...

The path to overcoming grief and loss is certainly not linear. You do not overcome the loss of another life but learn to live differently. The shadow, memories, love and history of another never dissipate or leave your heart. They remain there forever. Sometimes hidden, then other they rise deep within revealing themselves. The longing in your heart and the tears that stream and roll down your cheeks. The breath you struggle to take as you reach deep within your soul and feel.

This week and the end of last have been full of overwhelm, angst and trying to figure things out. I’d pushed the idea of it being grief from my mind. I was emotional, out of sorts. Then the universe forced or allowed me to stop and feel into it all.

Today would have been my mums 70th birthday. And this week whilst at my most emotional, she is the one I longed for the most. The one I could talk to, moan to, speak to and feel truly supported and never ever judged. Never had to alter my emotions. Never had...