Processing Grief: Healing Mantra Deck

I draw my card and it comes up again. “Processing grief: My losses Prove How Deeply I loved”

As I celebrated mothers day and my 42 birthday last week I did feel grief, but not that crippling, all consuming dark cloud of grief. More a pang, and gentle sadness wash over me. I haven’t written like this for a while and as I do tears begin to stream.

As I draw this card again for the umpteenth time. I am urged to reflect and what’s left unprocessed. Yesterday I came to the realisation that my body was probably never likely to conceive naturally, and the odds were against me. To be fair, the odds were always against me, not due to age, but haven been told numerous times that we couldn’t conceive naturally. Then with current pelvic issues it’s really a big lofty miracle and dream to keep carrying.

I guess I hung on to that hope that another miracle would occur. This week I relented and called the doctor after a...